Tuesday, March 16, 2010
What im about to write has nothing to do wit the song I posted I just thought it would make for good backround music while you read the nonsense Im about to write. I woke up today and since it was the first nice day in about a week and I had off I decided to hop on a bus and head to the Witches Brew for 10:30 AA meeting. The meeting was great as always ( great job guys me and many others are grateful ) well after, I got dropped off at the bus terminal in hempstead which if ya dont know kinda a seedy place. I sat down to smoke a cigarette since I had 15 min to kill. Now this is the kinda place once you light a cigarette every bum and junkie in the place flock around you like seagulls, and I am always waiting for them to ask so im already a dick before they even ask. Well like clockwork a homeless local lady came up to me askin and I shook my head no , then cause I didnt want to be bothered I threw half a cigarette on the floor. Well what happens next is what prompted me to write this today, I look out the corner of my eye and see what looks like a dude pick it up and just start smokin it. As I raise my head to get a good look at him so I can judge him and think eeewwwww what a fuckin dirtbag I suddenly stop and drift off in my mind to about this time two years ago, and remember holy shit that was totally me. I was a complete dirtbag junkie and I remember being sick and broke and crawling out of my shity basement apt. to search the streets for cigarette butts to smoke. I remember someone very very special to me who wasnt even speakin to me at the time givin me their credit card number when I called begging them for food. They gave it to me to order chinese food well geuss what they got at the end of the month, a bill for almost 300$ because I would order food everyday even if I wasnt hungry because I knew the delivery guy smoked and I would ask him for a cigarette and he would always give me like 3 or 4. Well when they got the bill and called me fuckin pissed all I could do was cry saying I was hungry I was hungry please forgive me, but that was me give me an inch and I took a mile. Thats right guys the same guy you laugh with the same guy you bust kickflips with was a complete junkie smoking butts I found in the streets , stealing and taking advantage of the people I loved. The person that helped me wit the credit card did everything for me and loved me so much and I shitted all over that and as a result is no longer in my life and is something Ill never get over I wish I could take all back but I cant. I love that person with everything and always will. The point to all this is think twice before you judge try to just view people as people not sterotypes, if you have it to give then give it. This is not easy to do by any means I fall short all the time, I havent lived that lifestyle for almost 2 yrs now , I can buy my own cigarettes and chinese food today and thats why its so easy to forget where I came from sometimes so before you judge someone next time remember that could easliy have been the guy your hi fiving after landing a switch flip manny down roslysn!!!!